If you’re a nudist, you mostly likely already know it. But if you’re not sure, or you’re one of those deniers who say “I sleep naked and don’t like to wear clothes around the house, but I’m NOT a nudist,” then it’s time to do a reality check against this list.
Here are the top 10 reasons why you should know that you’re a — GASP! — nudist.
- You wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, because you just had a nightmare that you showed up to work in clothes.
- You carry a towel with you to church, and place it on the pew before sitting down.
- On laundry day, you wash three pairs of underwear, a pair of shorts, a pair of pants, two pairs of socks, two shirts and 18 towels.
- When someone invites you to a pool party, a dinner party, a bar mitzvah, a gender reveal party, a funeral or any other social gathering, the first question that pops into your head is, “I wonder if I can get naked?”
- When someone pounds on your door yelling, “Get out! There’s a gas leak!” you seriously consider ignoring the warning because you don’t want to get dressed.
- When you do put on clothes, your dog freaks out and barks incessantly while cowering in the corner because he doesn’t recognize you.
- When you visit the doctor for a physical, you ask the receptionist in the waiting room, “Should I undress now?”
- When you visit the eye doctor you ask, “Should I undress now?
- You only own one swimsuit. Which you bought it in 1998. And it still looks new.
- When clothes shopping, you have to remind yourself to use the fitting room before trying on pants.