Nomadic Nudists in name only?

If you’ve been following this blog lately, you’ve probably noticed that you’re doing a better job of following this blog than I am of blogging on this blog. In fact, all you’d have to do is leave a single-word comment and you’d be doing a better job of blogging as well. So, it’s about time I show up and get everyone up to speed on the activities of the Nomadic Nudists.

First, we currently are not “nomadic.” We probably should just delete that part of our name for now, but then we’d call ourselves “The Nudists” and everybody would be like, “Yeah, so what?” Maybe we’ll come up with another adjective such as “God-like.” Or maybe just “God-awful.” I’ll noodle on that another time.

Anyway, there’s a reason we’re not current nomads, starting with what we did after spending a summer in Bisbee, Arizona in 2020: We bought property. Specifically, we bought an acre in the Sonoran Desert in Arizona which we’re calling Jackass Acre — AKA, The No Pants Ranch. The acre had a 25-year-old manufactured home on it that, though solid, was in need of some fixing up.

The No Pants Ranch

Our original plan was to find some land that we could call our own and park our motorhome on it between travels. But now we had thrust ourselves — and our money — into a new project. That meant that our beloved motorhome, The Toaster, sat neglected and inviting decay. So, we put it on the market and quickly sold it.

It was bittersweet to watch our home of the past six years or more drive away with its new owners. It was also a relief as we could now focus on turning The No Pants Ranch into our nudist basecamp.

Second, we haven’t been “nudists” so much. Of course, once you’re a nudist do you ever stop being one? In June of this year, we spent a weekend at Tucson’s Mira Vista Resort to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Other than that, we haven’t been to any other social nudist place. If we don’t do something about that soon, we may have to remove “Nudists” from our name as well. Then we’ll be known simply as “The,” which would make an interesting vanity license plate.

But one of the reasons we bought our property was so we could have a private area to maintain our reputation of being crazed, naked hippies. Unfortunately, though we’re in a rural area, we’re still exposed when outside to some of our new neighbors. They’re all very nice people, but you never know how they would react to seeing me wandering among the cactus with nothing on but a grin. So, until we get a nice privacy fence built, we have to confine our pants-less activities to inside, or to a small outside area we’re calling The Beach.

The Nude Beach

Our property has a wash running through it. That’s what they call streambeds in the desert. They’re usually dry, but sometimes can be raging rivers after a monsoon storm. They’re also usually sandy, and since we love going to nude beaches, we decided to convert a bank of the wash into our own little slice of beach.

I wrote a Nomadic Nudists column once about things you don’t want to do naked. And I can now add to that: Removing prickly pear cactus. I had to clear some out to create our beach space, and it’s a full-on boots, gloves and pants procedure.

The Beach is private and surrounded by thick Sonoran Desert bush — palo verde and ironwood trees, cholla and saguaro cactus — and with just the right soundtrack in your earbuds could almost pass for a day at Haulover. We still have plans to add loungers, a table and more but at least we now have a place to soak up the sun the way nature intended.

The future

The nomadic life was great — a dream come true — until we were suddenly done with it. It was hard to work on our writing and art projects when we were constantly moving. We wanted a more permanent basecamp and now we have one.

We figured that it will take us a minimum of two-years investing in fixing up The No Pants Ranch and then we plan to get out of Arizona during the summers. Travel for a few months or even just a few weeks at a time to escape the heat and find new places to explore. And of course, we’ll be getting naked when we can along the way.

I do miss the nomadic life sometimes and still get envious when I follow other naked nomads. Getting to know a new town. Feeling the freedom that comes with the knowledge that you can pick up and go somewhere else at almost any moment.

I’m getting ready to release a book of all the columns I wrote for the NUSA SUN magazine, plus some extra content. Compiling these columns has allowed me to relive so many of our adventures on the road and at various nudist places across the U.S. I lose myself in going through photos. Sunny days at Blind Creek Beach in Florida. Cloudy days at Squaw Mountain Ranch in Oregon. Friends we made along the way.

Nothing replaces the richness that comes with living new experiences and creating new memories. And we’ll continue to do so, whether it’s on the road or on our Nude Beach.