Advice people are always saying “Don’t make New Year’s resolutions. They’ll be unrealistic. You’ll get discouraged. You’ll fall into despair and have twice as many resolutions the next New Year’s Eve. Blah, blah, blah.”
I disagree. I think New Year’s resolutions are great. They allow you to forgive yourself, change your ways and recharge.
For example, say you got loaded at the office Holiday party and pinched your boss’ butt while yelling “I have polenta in my underwear!” New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to reflect upon your life and proclaim “Next year, I’m going to change. Next year, I won’t drink at the Holiday party. If I find a job by then.”
New Year’s resolutions that are achievable.
The key is to make New Year’s resolutions that are doable. Like instead of saying “I’m going to go on a diet,” say “I’m going to stop stepping on the scale.” Or, on the personal development front, instead of saying “I’m going to learn Mandarin,” say “I’m going to use Google Translate.”
So, I thought long and hard for a minute about how I could improve my life in 2020. Turns out I couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t include eating better, drinking less or being a kinder person. So instead I decided to make three resolutions, goals actually, that reflect our nudist lifestyle and I’m pretty sure are realistic.
Resolution #1: Do a nude 5K.
I thought it was appropriate to start out with the typical “I’m going to get in better shape” resolution.
If you haven’t heard about nude 5Ks, you’ve been living in a nudist bubble. Or perhaps Utah. Anyway, nude 5Ks are all the rage, even among non-nudists. There are people who won’t even take their clothes off in front of a medical professional, like their podiatrist, but they’ll complete a nude 5K because it’s on their bucket list.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, that’s a good idea. Start out with short run like a 5K, rather than a marathon, so you can make it achievable.” No. What you need to notice is that I said “Do a nude 5K” and not “Run a nude 5K.”
Now it’s possible that I may actually run the entire course, or maybe parts of the course, or even away from the course. I’m just not going to commit to that. But if I say I’m going to do the course, that could mean anything from walking it to rendering it in charcoal in my sketchbook. See how that works?
By the way, doing a 5K does NOT mean that I’m going to have sex with it. Get your mind out of the gutter. Sheesh.
Resolution #2: Visit The Magic Circle.
Despite what you’re thinking, The Magic Circle is not where nerds sit around the campfire making coins appear behind each other’s ears. Nor is it the place aging hippies go to take their final acid trip.
The Magic Circle is a nudist camping area outside of Quartzsite, Arizona. During the winter months, Quartzsite attracts hundreds of thousands of RVing snowbirds who fill up the RV parks and flow out into the federally-owned BLM lands. There are gem and mineral shows, RV shows, flea markets and lots of silver-haired folks competing for restaurant seats at 4 p.m. Some of those folks are — GASP! — nudists who have parked their RVs at The Magic Circle.
The Magic Circle is not an RV park. It’s a designated area on BLM land. There are no hookups, you bring in everything you need, and have to leave to dump your tanks. There is a tent that acts as a clubhouse that, in true nomadic style, is put up in the fall and taken down in the spring.
We have been talking about this place for years, but we never manage to stay there. This one should be easy. I mean we are currently in Arizona. And we have an RV. And we’re nomadic nudists.
By golly gosh durn it, we’re going to The Magic Circle in 2020!
Resolution #3: Ride in the World Naked Bike Ride.
Another fitness-related resolution? “Uh huh, sure,” you say with justifiable skepticism. But the World Naked Bike Ride — aka WNBR — isn’t so much about fitness as it is about being able to ride naked in a city and not get whacked in the head by a police officer’s baton for indecent exposure. The secret is to ride in the center of the pack of naked cyclists, out of reach from the batons and the ticket books.
Just kidding! I would never throw my fellow nude cyclists under the bus like that. Or even under a Smart car. One for all and all for one, I always say.
Actually, this resolution looks very doable and exactly like the kind of event we’d embrace because:
- We love bike riding and own bicycles.
- We love being naked and own naked bodies.
- We love socializing with the kind of people who would ride bikes naked in the city.
So there you have it, three resolutions that I’m almost sure I can accomplish. What are your nude resolutions for 2020?